I spent a lot of time this week watching Get Back with Jackie and her dad, and discussing the Beatles. The documentary is made from footage taken as The Beatles tried to write an album (Let It Be) and perform that album to a live audience (rooftop concert) in the span of just a few weeks.
In the final 45 minutes, we get an uncut and beautifully edited look at the rooftop concert. As a life-long Beatles fan, I found this finale to be the most exhilarating and joyful media I’ve seen since my accident (and I’ve consumed a lot in the last 3+ months).
I was most struck by how happy Paul seemed in those few moments on the rooftop. He was always at home, hard at work in the studio, surrounded by music. But outside, performing after so many years away from the stage, he seemed freed.
For the first time, my thinking about Paul and the breakup of The Beatles changed. Sure, the extremely high level of quality and consistency of Paul’s writing took a downward turn after their split. And the relationship between the four boys from Liverpool was never the same again. But at least after The Beatles ended, Paul got to be truly at home, performing again in the spotlight.
The title of the documentary seems to be an appropriate reference to The Beatles getting back to rehearsing and performing entire numbers together as a band. But I’ll forever think of the documentary and the song Get Back as Paul finally returning to where he once belonged. He was happiest with an audience.
In the next few weeks, I hope to be fully in my element as well.
This means living in a van with Jackie. Hanging in a beautiful place during the day, and snuggles at night.
It means creating something. That might be music, writing, math videos, or some other hobby I haven’t found yet.
It means living largely anonymously. After trying so hard to get the word out about my accident, I need to get back to the comfort of not being heard by the outside world.
Perhaps most of all, returning to my element means climbing. Preferably outside on rock, but until my feet decide to cooperate, I’ll take what I can get at the climbing gym.
And I’ve never felt more like a climber than after this injury. I walk so poorly that I have to take a wheelchair or a walker to travel the short distance to the base of a route. But as soon as I get my feet off the ground, something changes. For the first time in months, I know what to do, and my body (mostly) cooperates. I take a small amount of pride in feeling at ease climbing 5.11, while struggling with something as basic as walking. In those few moments on the wall, with Jackie belaying me below, I feel at home.
My first route back :)
I’m looking forward to 2022 more than any year I can remember. I hope to again fully participate in the beautiful balance of mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual that is climbing.
I can’t wait to get back to where I once belonged.
Injury Updates:
As I mentioned above, I was able to climb! I can’t fully weight my feet, so I can only do overhanging routes. So I needed a climber and a belayer (thanks Jackie and John!) to put a top-rope on the easiest routes in the lead cave for me. Also, I needed to rent shoes because my feet are too swollen to fit into my own. Surprisingly, I was able to do a 10a, 10b, and 10d all clean on my first day! On the next visits to the gym, I was able to complete some 5.11s.
Standing is no problem now that my calves have healed. Walking is another story. My left heel and right knee still have a lot of pain when moving under my weight . There is still pain in my right foot (and right elbow) too. My pelvis and back both feel pretty good. I’ll learn more about my right hand when I finally try to crimp.
I also still have sciatic nerve pain, which is a bummer, but can be controlled by gabapentin with only a bit of mental cloud as a side-effect. Hopefully I can taper off of that soon.
I’ve ordered some more PT, and hopefully that will help as I get stronger.